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I swear I'm cursed....

Ok so I wrote this whole entry earlier and I must change it now because I talked with Chris this evening.

I pick the best guys on the face of the planet. I always find the ones that will break my heart and leave me for someone else. It happens like every single time. I'm cursed.

Chris and I broke up last night. Things pretty much suck. Don't get me wrong. I do not regret the relationship at all. It was fun while it lasted. I just regret how it ended. I do not want him back at all. Quite frankly I can't be with someone who I know is a liar. But I wish that things had ended differently.

I feel like this came out of no where. I feel like I was blind-sided. I feel like I was lied to and betrayed. 

For once I thought I had found a guy that wouldn't be such a huge asshole.

He put on a really good show though. He puts on the greatest fascade of being such a nice guy. Every single person I know that knows him has said how much of a sweetheart he is and how nice he is. But the truth is that he is one of the greatest liar I have ever known. He makes you think that he's nice, but the truth is that he is a huge ass. Every single one of my friends liked him and thought he was a really nice guy and was very genuine. We see how that turned out.

I don't know about any of you but when I experience a break up I tend to like go to being friends. Like actually be friends. Maybe not the best of friends, but  you get what I mean. Chris, on the other hand, completely cuts you out of his life once the relationship is over. So basically he doesn't want to talk to me. Like ever again. Basically I just need to fall off the face of the planet. Easier said than done. We work together so I'm trying to make a compromise with him that we can be civil and possibly hold a conversation, but I don't think he's even capable of that.

How can you go from really liking someone to pretty much never wanting to be around them again. What good does that accomplish? How does running away from your problems solve anything? I just don't see how someone can be so heartless. I don't get how you can care about someone so much and then act like you don't even know them. I don't get it at all....

I'm exhausted. Completely and utterly exhausted. I'm done writing this public entry. Maybe I'll write a friends only one later.


All i gotta say is: Go Lakers!!!

January 2010

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